List of films

Quartet

quartetBeecham House is a retirement home with a difference: it specifically caters for former artistes including one-time opera singers Cissy (Pauline Collins), Reginald (Tom Courtenay) and Wilf (Billy Connolly). Once part of a quartet, the three still take part in an annual concert to celebrate the birthday of composer Giuseppe Verdi. But this year things are complicated by the arrival of the fourth member of their quartet, Jean (Maggie Smith), a die-hard diva who also happens to be Reginald's ex-wife. Theatrical temperaments and old hostilities flare as the dramatic foursome fuss, flirt and flounce their way through rehearsals, adhering emphatically to that old showbiz adage, 'the show must go on'.

Brave

disney-pixar-bravePixar Animation Studios, the creator of Toy Story 3, whisks you away on an astonishing adventure to an ancient land full of mystery and tradition. Bursting with heart, unforgettable characters and Pixar’s signature humour. Take a heroic journey with Merida, a skilled archer and headstrong daughter of King Fergus and Queen Elinor. Determined to carve her own path in life, Merida defies an age-old custom sacred to the unruly and uproarious lords of the land. When Merida’s actions inadvertently unleash chaos in the kingdom, she must harness all of her skills and resources – including her clever and mischievous triplet brothers – to undo a beastly curse before it’s too late, and discover the meaning of true bravery.

The Ballad of Nessie

balladofnessieA legendary and friendly creature named Nessie lives happily in a small pond with her friend MacQuack, a rubber duck. When a rich developer takes the pond and land surrounding it to build a miniature golf course, Nessie is forced to search for a new home. She finds rejection everywhere and is always told to keep a stiff upper lip and not cry. Finally, Nessie loses all hope and starts crying for days, weeks, and months. When she can't cry anymore, she finds that her tears have created the Loch, a beautiful and perfect new home for her and MacQuack.

During the five small credits we see the golf course has also been flooded, with the developer and his assistants using the sign as a raft. The developer breaks down into tears over his loss.

Gulliver's Travels

912BjmvkzHL. SL1500 Lemuel Gulliver has been working in the mail room of a New York daily newspaper for the past ten years. Afraid to put himself out there, he considers himself a loser, as do all his peers. One day, after having finally had enough, he decides to declare his flame to the beautiful Darcy Silverman, the newspaper's travel editor and one of Gulliver's only friends...only to chicken out at the last minute and instead tell her that he'd like to try his hand at writing a column. Darcy accepts and sends him on an assignment to the Bermuda Triangle. There, Gulliver becomes shipwrecked and ends up on the island of Liliput, where he is twelve taller than the tallest man. For the first time, Gulliver has people looking up to him.

Good Sharma

An Indian Taxi driver in New York goes back to his village and builds a school for girls.

Boondock Saints II

boondock-saints-2 For the last 8 years the brothers have been living with their father on a sheep farm deep in isolated Ireland. One day their uncle tells them that they have been framed for the murder of a Bostonian Catholic priest.

The boys must return to Boston to not only clear their names but find the men who framed them.

X Files I want to believe (2008)

xfiles For the devoted viewers of THE X-FILES, there can be few things more exciting than hearing the familiar notes of Mark Snow's theme song at the beginning of THE X-FILES - I WANT TO BELIEVE.

This cinematic follow-up to the series picks up years after it ended, but the characters are still the same ones that audiences loved. Fans that followed the show religiously won't be surprised to learn that Mulder (David Duchovny) is currently living in hiding, still researching the paranormal while he grows a shaggy beard. Meanwhile, Scully (Gillian Anderson) is working as a doctor at a Catholic hospital. When an F.B.I. agent goes missing, the bureau calls on the pair to return to their old work.

The paranormal element of their case is found in Father Joe (Billy Connolly), a former priest who is having psychic visions and leading the team from the F.B.I. to evidence to help them solve their case. Mulder and Scully return to their roles of believer and sceptic as they join in the search. Just as in the show, I WANT TO BELIEVE is a genre-bender that combines science fiction, horror, and thriller. In fact, the film seems like a two-part episode of the show--and that's meant as a compliment.

Though made six years after the series' finale (and 10 since the first cinematic incarnation), the show's central elements are intact, especially the interaction between Mulder and Scully. For those who weren't fans of the show, I WANT TO BELIEVE offers chills similar to THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS and THE BONE COLLECTOR--but minus the gore. The show was always more about the unseen horrors, and the film works well as it follows its predecessor's lead.

Open Season 2 (2008)

openseason2 Following on from the fun-filled original, OPEN SEASON 2 continues the adventures of kind and caring bear Boog and his messy deer companion, Elliot, who, together, they struggle to adapt to the way of life in the wild.


In this, their second adventure, Elliot falls in love with Gisele and intends to marry her. Unfortunately life isn't that easy in the woods and some complications ensue, as Elliot's new friend--the dog, Mr Weenie--is abducted by a troop of spoilt domestic pets on a mission to bring him back to his old owner…

Open Season (2006)

open-season A grizzly bear named Boog, domesticated by a park ranger, Beth, helps deer friend Elliot escape from the mullet-sporting hunter, Shaw. When the Elliot decides to return the favor to help Boog escape from Beth he finds that Boog is very happy with his domesticated home.

After a misunderstanding, Beth is convinced that Boog is reverting to his wild nature and releases him in the woods just as hunting season begins. Boog has no idea how to survive outside of his garage home with his beloved Beth.

Elliott and Boog develop a strong bond not only between themselves but also with the wild animals and attempt to drive the hunters out of the forest.

Fido (2006)

fido Welcome to Willard, a small town lost in the idyllic world of the 50s, where the sun shines every day, everybody knows their neighbour, and rotting zombies deliver the mail. Years ago, the earth passed through a cloud of space dust, causing the dead to rise with a craving for human flesh.

A war began, pitting the living against the dead. In the ensuing revolution, a corporation was born: ZonnCon, who defeated the legions of undead, and domesticated the zombies, making them our industrial workers, our domestic servants--a productive part of society. ZomCon would like the people of Willard to believe they have everything under control--but do they?


Timmy Robinson doesn't think so. At eleven, Timmy already knows the world is phony baloney--Mom and Dad just won't admit it. Now ZonnCon's head of security has moved in across the street, and Timmy's Mom refuses to be the only housewife on the block who doesn't have a zombie of her own. When she brings a zombie servant home, Timmy discovers a new best friend, and names him Fido.


And even though Dad has a bad case of zombie-phobia, Timmy is determined to keep Fido, even if he does eat the odd person. Sometimes, it takes a dead man to teach us all what it means to be alive.

Lemony Snicket’s a series of Unfortunate Events (2004)

imageJust in time to ruin Christmas 2004, a major motion picture starring Jim Carrey, Meryl Streep, and Jude Law will expose millions to the unbearable circumstances described in The Bad Beginning, The Reptile Room and The Wide Window.

The tale of three children (Sunny, Violet & Klaus) who's parents are killed leaving them with a fortune, however they're too young to inherit the money. They're taken in by an Uncle Olaf (Jim Carrey) who's sole purpose is to grab the loot for himself.

The Last Samurai (2004)

lastsamuraiSet in the late 1870s, this epic film depicts the beginnings of the modernization of Japan, as the island nation evolved past a feudal society, as symbolized by the eradication of the samurai way of life.

We see all this happen from the point of view of an alcoholic Civil War veteran turned Winchester guns spokesman, Captain Woodrow Algren (Cruise), who arrives in Japan to train the troops of the emperor, Meiji, as part of a break away from the long-held tradition of relying on employed samurai warriors to protect territories, as the emperor's new army prepares to wipe out the remaining samurai warriors.

When Algren is injured in combat and captured by the samurai, he learns about their warrior honour code from their leader, Katsumoto, which forces him to decide which side of the conflict he actually wants to be on.

Timeline (2002)

timelineA mystery suspense thriller based on Michael Crichton's best-selling novel about a team of student archaeologists on a dig at a medieval site in France.

When Professor Johnston, their team leader, disappears, they suddenly find themselves in 14th century feudal France on a perilous journey beyond their wildest dreams.

Now, to find their missing professor and avoid a potentially catastrophic event, they won't be excavating the past, they'll be living it.

Man who sued God (March 2001)

themanwhosuedgodBilly Connolly plays Steve Myers, a lawyer who became a fisherman from frustration. When his one piece of property, his boat, is struck by lightning and destroyed he is denied insurance money because it was 'an act of God'.

He re-registers as a lawyer and sues the insurance company and the church under the geise of God, defending himself. The accident leads him to a friendship and eventual relationship with a journalist, Anna Redmond (Davis)

Prince Charming (2001)

prince-charming On the day of his marriage to Princess Gwendolyn, Prince John finds himself in a compromising situation with a damsel in distress. As punishment, he and his squire, Rodney (Martin Short), are subjected to a "frogging," transforming them into frogs for all eternity, or until the prince can convince a maiden not only to kiss him but also marry him.

After centuries on the pond, John and Rodney are accidentally transported to New York's Central Park and an amazing new world full of taxis, skyscrapers, graffiti and-of course-damsels. In no time at all, the prince gets his kiss and he and Rodney return to human form.

But staying that way won't be easy. It's streetwise Kate (Christina Applegate) who has captured John's heart, but, unfortunately, she's not the woman he kissed. In order to break the curse forever, he must convince Margo (Bernadette Peters), a Broadway diva, to marry him.

White Oleander (2001)

Ingrid Magnusson (Pfeiffer), a feminist poet, poisons her ex-boyfriend (Connolly) in a fit of jealousy, and is sentenced to life in prison, forcing her essentially orphaned daughter, Astrid (Lohman), to deal with living in Los Angeles foster homes, which put her through a wringer of hard circumstances dealing with three very different women. The daughter, however, eventually gets a chance to get her mother back,


but she would have to lie about what actually happened... (Zellweger and Wright Penn play two of her foster mothers; Wyle plays Zellweger's husband; Fugit plays a fellow foster child who was born addicted to heroin; Manning plays a punk rocker foster child)

Gentleman's Relish (2000)

gentlemensrelish Kingdom Swann is a talented but rather naive Scottish artist who lives in Edwardian London with his housekeeper, Violet, a dowdy and self-effacing but very loyal young woman from Lancashire. He is dismayed to find that there is no longer a demand for his style of paintings. Then Violet buys him a camera from the local market stall.

Helped by his unscrupulous new assistant, Cromwell Marsh, he soon transforms himself into "Kingdom Swann, Society Photographer" and is much in demand.

When two younger sisters want him to take "artistic photographs" of themselves in the nude, Marsh hoodwinks Swann into specialising in "tableaux": photographic versions of famous paintings of nudes, using local prostitutes as his models.

He realises that he can make a great money on the black market by secretly printing selected parts of these photos and selling them under the brand name "Gentlemen's Relish" to a supplier of pornography. Swann is completely innocent of what is going on.

Violet, aided by a group of suffragettes who are demanding votes and equality for women, stumble on Marsh's scheme. In the process they discover that a fiery opponent of pornography who has aspirations of entering the House of Lords is actually one of the best customers of Gentlemen's Relish.

Cletis Tout (July 2000)

cletistout An escapee (Slater) from prison assumes the identity of a deceased man, Who is Cletis Tout?, but soon discovers that someone had put out a "hit" on Cletis, so now the escapee has to deal with both the police, but a hitman (Allen) as well. (de Rossi plays Slater's girlfriend)

Gabriel and Me (July 2000)

gabriel-me Jimmy Spud is no ordinary eleven year old: while others dream of football and girls, he dreams of becoming an angel.

When he gains an apprenticeship with the Archangel Gabriel ( Billy Connolly), it seems as if his prayers have been answered. But , his "miracles" go largely unnoticed, and his robe of feathers and celestial trumpet insight fury from all around, in particular his bullying father.

A disillusioned Jimmy is on the verge of quitting, but, when his father is diagnosed with cancer he decides to give it one last try : the Spuds deserve a miracle and, maybe, this time he will have the power to deliver it. A bittersweet rights-of-passage from the writer of the acclaimed Billy Elliot.

An Everlasting Piece (December 1999)

aneverlastingpiece Colin (Barry McEvoy) is a Catholic and George (Brian O'Byrne) is a poetry-loving Protestant. In Belfast in the 1980s, they could have been enemies, but instead they became business partners.

After persuading a mad wig salesman, known as the Scalper (Billy Connolly), to sell them his leads, the two embark on a series of house calls--always in neighbourhoods that are dangerous for one or the other partner.

Then they find out they may lose their exclusive wig distributorship to competitors. Through a series of comic twists, the pair are given large orders for wigs by both sides of the Protestant/Catholic conflict.

Should they compromise their principles in order to keep their business? Will it destroy their friendship? Could one of their wigs in the hands of the IRA actually put one or both of them in jail or even get them killed?

The Debt Collector (1999)

thedebtcollector A pool hall becomes a home to a loan shark in Edinburgh in the late 1970s. There, Nickie Dryden is arrested after attempting to force money out of an undercover policeman.

Twenty years later Nickie is married to a successful writer and is making a living as a sculptor. The policeman who arrested him all those years ago refuses to believe that Nickie could have changed so much...

Beautiful Joe (July 1999)

beautifuljoe In the Bronx, Joe, an Irish good guy, gets bad news twice the same day: he has a brain tumour and his wife wants a divorce, saying he's dull and lacks adventure. With her father's blessing, Joe takes off for adventures in the weeks before risky surgery.

In Louisville, he's latched onto by Hush, a talkative belle with two kids, big debts to a nasty bookie, and few prospects.

Even after she steals his wallet, Joe offers temporary help, bonds with her kids, and faces down the bookie. Soon Hush, Joe, and the kids are on the run toward Vegas.

The bookie's on their tail, so are some Bronx bad guys, cancer lurks, Hush has her gambling Jones, and the kids want stability. Can this work out?

The Boon Dock Saints (September 1998)

boondocksaints Irish brothers Connor & Murphy McManus live and work in Boston. Feeling that God's will to rid Earth from all human Evil was given to them as a mission, they set out to do their divine deed.

A public outcry is never heard, and even FBI agent Paul Smecker, who follows their trace of bloodshed, admits that the boys are doing exactly what he secretly always has wished to happen.

Risking their lives for their beliefs of Veritas (truth) and Aequitas (justice), the Boondock Saints are hyped by the public, for they are doing good, which only few dare to admit.

Still Crazy (1998)

still-crazy "Strange Fruit" had everything that makes a legendary rock band: Money, Fame, Success, Groupies, a Singer who died of drugs and even a divine ending, when lightning struck the stage during an open-air.

Twenty years later, all band members are minding their own businesses, the idea of a band reunion is brought up by, well, public request.

Tony, the former keyboard player, sets out only to find his former friends working as a roofer, a gardener and a hotel clerk.

They all became rather everyday people or still single, they definitely are not wild and crazy anymore. But with the help of former manager Karen, who is still dreaming of Brian, the deceased lead singer, they all, old, fat and wrinkled as they are, try to catch that spirit

Bullshot (1984)

bullshot The dashing Captain Hugh "Bullshot" Crummond WWI ace fighter pilot, Olympic athlete, racing driver, part-time sleuth and all round spiffing chap - must save the world from the dastardly Count Otto van Bruno, his wartime adversary. And, of course, win the heart of a jolly nice young lady.

The Changeling (1998)

changeling Based on the 17th Century play, this modernization finds a young man (Colm O'Maonial) in love with a woman (Amanda Ray King) who is promised to another (Guy Williams). Pleading with her man-servant (Ian Dury) to murder her pledged, he in turn blackmails her into a night with her. But she switches her maid (Julia Tarnoky) in her bed, which sets off a bloodbath.

Mrs Brown (1997)

mrsbrown Queen Victoria is deeply depressed after the death of her husband, disappearing from public.

Her servant Brown, who adores her, through caress and admiration brings her back to life, but that relationship creates scandalous situation and is likely to lead to monarchy crisis.

Set in 1864, the Court and Government are in turmoil. Queen Victoria remains stricken with grief over Prince Albert's death and refuses to carry out any public duties.

Her popularity with the British people is waning and there are calls to abolish the Monarchy. As a last resort Sir Henry Ponsonbv, the Queen's Private Secretary. summons John Brown, her loyal Scottish Attendant, down from Balmoral to walk the Queen's pony.

Brown's arrival at Court is the beginning of extraordinary relationship. Rumours of an affair begin to scandalize polite society and a crisis in the Monarchy seems inevitable.

The Imposters (1997)

imposters In an attempt to resurrect the slapstick comedy of Laurel and Hardy or The Marx Brothers, Stanley Tucci and Oliver Platt team-up as two out-of-work actors who accidentally stowaway on a ship to hide from a drunken, belligerent lead actor who has sworn to kill them for belittling his talents.

Of course, the lead actor end up on the ship as well. Also, a madman (Tony Shalhoub) plots the destruction of the ship and Steve Buscemi is a depressed, suicidal lounge singer named Happy Frank.

Paws (1997)

paws Alex knows the whereabouts of a stashed-away fortune of $1 million. The mysterious Aria kidnaps him, but he's transferred clues of location of the cash onto computer disk that he gives to his dog called PC, who has to find a friend of Alex, Susan. Billy Connolly does the voice for PC.

The Life and Crimes of Deacon Brodie (1996)

deaconbrodie Scandal rocked Edinburgh in 1788 when town councillor William Deacon Brodie's secret life of drinking, gambling, theft, and whoring was revealed following his botched attempt to steal a fortune from the city's customs and excise offices.

Produced for the BBC and based on a true story, this Scottish adventure has all the elements of a great historical thriller--theft, treachery, romance, revenge, and scandalous revelations.

Despite being a day late and a dollar short for everything but his own execution, Brodie (Billy Connolly) makes a surprisingly affable protagonist who, in the end, will win over even the most cold-hearted viewers. In fact, the revelation of antagonist Bailie Creech's even more objectionable depravities makes Brodie seem almost angelic in comparison.

While not overly graphic visually, the story may not be thematically appropriate for all viewers because it includes larceny, prostitution, paedophilia, and death by hanging.

Overall, it's an excellent production featuring strong performances, evocative costumes, and Dolby Surround sound. The pervasive understated Highland sense of humour and Brodie's charmingly flawed character make Deacon Brodie a must-see.

Treasure Island (1996)

treasureisland The Muppets are back into action in another movie based on a novel written by Robert Louis Stevenson. Kermit the Frog and his colleagues go on a warfare against ruthless pirates.

They also share their problem-solving journey on sea to rescue a treasure.

Down Among the Big Boys (1995)

downamongbigboys Set in Glasgow, Louie, the detective son of an upright police sergeant, is about to marry. His intended is the daughter of JoJo (Connolly), a wealthy and compulsive thief who attempts a spectacular robbery.

Louie is put in charge of the investigation of JoJo's latest enterprise. JoJo learns of his peril and begins an exercise in risk management.

The Bigger Picture (1995)

Pocahontas (1995)

pocahontas Capt. John Smith leads a rag-tag band of English sailors & soldiers to the New World to plunder its riches for England. Meanwhile, in this "New World," Chief Powhatan has pledged his daughter, Pocahontas, to be married to the village's greatest warrior.

Pocahontas, however, has other ideas. Her life does indeed change when the English ship lands near her village.

Between Ratcliffe, who believes the "savages" are hiding the gold he expected to be plentiful, and Powhatan, who believes these pale newcomers will destroy their land, Smith and Pocahontas have a difficult time preventing all-out war, and saving their love for each other. Billy Connolly does Ben's voice for Ben in the cartoon.

Indecent Proposal (1993)

indecentproposal One of the biggest teases in film history, this film's sensational plot finds a young wife (Demi Moore) solicited for sex by a wealthy bachelor (Robert Redford), for which the latter offers to pay a cool million bucks to her and her underachieving husband (Woody Harrelson).

The two accept Redford's deal, and their marriage is ruined.

The twist in the film, though, is that the sin doesn't lie with the rich guy, but rather with this unfocused, immature, equivocating couple who would do such a thing, naively believing it would get their lives on track.

Director Adrian Lyne, who caused an even greater stir by filming Lolita (the one starring Jeremy Irons), thus pulls a kind of thinking person's bait and switch, promising something tawdry and then turning the story around so its focus is on a rite of passage for the estranged spouses.

Still, Lyne has some peculiarly garish ideas at times: the final disposition of that million dollars is like a joke out of Monty Python.

The Big Man (1990)

bigman An unemployed Scottish miner (Liam Neeson) is forced into bare-knuckle boxing to make ends meet, in which Billy Connolly plays the role as Frankie.

The Return of the Musketeers (1989)

musketeers It's 1649: Mazarin hires the impoverished D'Artagnan to find the other musketeers: Cromwell has overthrown the English king, so Mazarin fears revolt, particularly from the popular Beaufort.

Porthos, bored with riches and wanting a title, signs on, but Aramis, an abbe, and Athos, a brawler raising an intellectual son, assist Beaufort in secret.

When they fail to halt Beaufort's escape from prison, the musketeers are expendable, and Mazarin sends them to London to rescue Charles I. They are also pursued by Justine, the avenging daughter of Milady de Winter, their enemy 20 years ago.

They must escape England, avoid Justine, serve the Queen, and secure Beauford's political reforms.

The Hunting of the Snark (1987)

This is a musical by Mike Batt based on Lewis Carroll's nonsense poem. Mike Batt conducts the London Symphony Orchestra.

Enter the imaginative world of Lewis Carroll in two animated adaptations of the Alice in Wonderland Author's classic "nonsense peoms": the hunting of the spark and jabberwocky.

Also included is Lewis Carroll: glimmers of life, an entertainingly concise animated history of the author's life and writing career.

Androcles and the Lion (1984)

Water (1984)

water A tiny and impoverished Caribbean island is completely forgotten by it's British colonial masters until an abandoned oil well strikes mineral water.

Suddenly the British, Americans, Cubans, French and an incompetent local rebel are struggling for control of the island.

Blue Money (1982)

Larry dreams of becoming a star entertainer, but until then he drives a cab and works as chauffeur for the shady Ramirez.

One day he has a look in the suitcase that Ramirez is carrying around: it's full with money! He can't resist and steals it. In front of his friends he claims he's finally got a contract with a famous director and invites them to celebrate, while the mob is after the money.

Absolution (1978)

absolution At a Catholic public school, Benjamin Stanfield is tired of being the teacher's pet and decides to play a practical joke on his form master Father Goddard.

In confession, Stanfield tells Goddard that he has accidentally murdered his friend Blakey and buried him in the forest.

When Goddard investigates the matter, he finds a buried scarecrow. Goddard is outraged, but, due to the seal of confession, he knows he cannot expel Stanfield.

Shortly after, Stanfield once again enters the confession booth, telling Goddard that what before was a practical joke, he has now made happen. In disbelief, Goddard once again goes to the forest to investigate the matter.

This time, he discovers Blakey's dead body. The plot soon thickens as Stanfield's fellow student Arthur Dyson mysteriously disappears. In confession, Stanfield claims to have murdered him too. Outside of confession, he denies everything, leaving Goddard powerless.

Confused by murders he is not allowed to talk about, Father Goddard starts to go mad. He eventually murders Stanfield with a spade, only to discover that his pet student never confessed to anything but the initial scarecrow prank. After that, another student, who is a great voice impersonator, decided to take a hideous revenge on Goddard, taking advantage of the confession booth where one whispers and cannot be seen.

The Elephants Graveyard (1976)

elephantsgraveyard Bunny has told his wife he is working as a postman, but in fact is wandering the hills all day, wondering why he doesn't want to work. He meets Jody, an odlder man who has told his wife he's working in a factory, but is in fact doing the same thing.

The two men spend a day of friendship together, but what does the future offer them? And tonight is supposed to be pay night...

Just another Saturday (1975)

justanothersaturday It's the day of the Orange Parade in Glasgow, but for Jon, the thrill of leading the parade and swinging the mace soon turns to horror as he learns the truth behind the costumes and songs.

 

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